Computer Tricks and Secrets

Short answer: you can make Windows greet you out loud by name at startup with a tiny built-in scripting trick, no software to install. Save a short VBScript that speaks a welcome message, then set it to run at login. Here is the exact code, how to make it say good morning/afternoon/evening, and how to run it safely. Create the welcome script Open Notepad and paste this: Dim speak Set speak = CreateObject("SAPI.SpVoice") speak.Speak "Welcome back. Have a great day!" Save it as welcome.vbs (choose "All Files" as the type so it is not saved as .txt). Double-click it, your PC speaks the message aloud. Make it greet you by time of day Use this version to say good morning, afternoon, or evening automatically: Dim speak, h, msg h = Hour(Now) If h < 12 Then msg = "Good morning! Ready to get started?" ElseIf h < 18 Then msg = "Good afternoon! Welcome back." Else msg = "Good evening! Let's get to work....

Short answer: when a video buffers or a page is slow to load, you can pass the time with hidden browser games, no download needed. The most reliable is Chrome's offline dinosaur game (press Space when you see the "no internet" dino), plus various built-in and search easter-egg games. Here are the best ones to keep handy. The classic: Chrome's offline dino game When Chrome has no connection, it shows a little dinosaur. Press Space (or tap it on mobile) and it becomes an endless runner, jump cacti and dodge birds. You can even play it anytime by typing chrome://dino in the address bar. It is the perfect boredom-killer while waiting on a bad connection. Google search easter-egg games Search "Snake game" on Google, an official playable Snake appears right in the results. Search "Pac-Man" or "Solitaire" or "Tic Tac Toe" , Google has playable versions built in. Search "Minesweeper" for the classic, in the br...

Short answer: you can make a harmless joke script in Notepad that keeps popping open the CD/DVD drive, great for a laugh on a friend's PC that has an optical drive. It is a few lines of VBScript, changes nothing, and stops the moment you close it. Here is the code, how it works, how to stop it, and the safety line you must not cross. A note before you prank anyone This is only funny on a computer you have permission to use, and only harmless because it changes nothing. Do not run scripts on someone's work machine or anywhere it could cause real trouble. A prank that annoys a friend for ten seconds is fine; one that disrupts someone's work is not. The CD-eject prank code Open Notepad . Paste this: Set oWMP = CreateObject("WMPlayer.OCX.7") Set colCDROMs = oWMP.cdromCollection do if colCDROMs.Count >= 1 then For i = 0 to colCDROMs.Count - 1 colCDROMs.Item(i).Eject Next End If wscript.sleep 5000 loop Save it as prank.vbs (choose ...

Short answer: you can make your keyboard's Caps Lock, Num Lock and Scroll Lock LEDs flash like a mini disco using a tiny Windows VBScript, no software needed. It is a classic, harmless trick I still enjoy showing people. Here is the script, how it works, how to stop it, and a few other fun tricks, plus the safety notes that matter. The disco LED trick Open Notepad . Paste this exactly: Set wshShell = wscript.CreateObject("WScript.Shell") do wscript.sleep 100 wshshell.sendkeys "{CAPSLOCK}" wshshell.sendkeys "{NUMLOCK}" wshshell.sendkeys "{SCROLLLOCK}" loop Save it as Disco.vbs (choose "All files" as the type so it does not save as .txt). Double-click the file. Your keyboard LEDs will flash in rhythm. How it works The script creates a Windows Shell object and, in an endless loop, sends the Caps/Num/Scroll Lock key presses every 100 milliseconds. Each press toggles that lock's LED, so they blink rapidly. The wscrip...

Short answer: you can make your screen fill with the green Matrix falling-code effect using a four-line Windows batch file, no software needed. Paste the code into Notepad, save it as a .bat, and run it. Here is the code, how it works, ways to customize it, and how to stop it, all completely harmless. The Matrix batch code Open Notepad . Paste this exactly: @echo off color 02 :tricks echo %random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random% goto tricks Save it as Matrix.bat (choose "All files" as the type so it does not save as .txt). Double-click the file. Your command window fills with scrolling green numbers. How it works @echo off hides the command prompt text so only the output shows. color 02 sets the window to black background, green text, the Matrix look. :tricks is a label, and goto tricks loops back to it forever. echo %random%... prints random numbers each loop, creating the falling stream. Customize it Change How Different col...